Dear God
Dear God
When I was a child I was taught that I should believe in you, that you were real.
I was taught that you were almighty, that you were kind and you had created mankind in your image to care and love for.
I was taught that whatever happend, you would be there with me, to save me.
I prayed to you, I learned your word and I guess I believed in you.
But that was many years ago.
That was before I got attacked and sexually harassed by an unknown man.
That was before I got my breasts full of scars and bruises.
That was before I became depressed and ran to the bottle for comfort.
That was before I hurt myself just to relieve the pain.
And that was before my mom got sick, my precious mom. A disease no one can cure, a disease that eats you up until there is nothing left of you.
So, where are you now? Where the hell are you now, God? If you're so almighty and so kind, if I prayed to you all these years so that you would save me the day I needed saving, then where the hell are you!? I could sure use some saving right now.
No, God. You've had your chance. There is no way that you can exist. No way.
To me, you're nothing but a joke.
Evergrey - When the walls go down
No, he is not a joke, but sometimes impossible to understand. But my faith tells me this and you know the words:
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
Michael Kjörling: Vackert, helt klart. Men inte gör det sorgen enklare.