to whom it might concern
I know I can be difficult sometimes, I know I'm not always easy to be around.
One moment I smile and laugh, and then suddenly I'm close to tears.
But you see, every minute of every day is a struggle for me. My life is a war against a total break down; a war against whatever demon it was that took me the last time, to prevent it from taking me again.
There are good days and there are bad days. On a good day I focus on the thought that my life will go on, and I deserve to be happy. No one would want it any other way. I have wonderful friends, family and an amazing boyfriend. I love them all to death. On a bad day I cry, but I find strength and hope is the eyes of those loved ones.
But then there are those days when I can barely breathe. When the walls close around me and the truth comes crushing down. How can I live without the person that means the world to me? How can there be life without air, water and nourish? Why should I have to say goodbye?
So, forgive me if I cry. Forgive me if I scream. And don't take it personal if I don't want to spend time with you, it's not that I dislike you or that I'm trying to be mean. It's just one of those days when every fiber of my body is fighting against that demon. When I struggle just to get out of bed and live my life.
I'm trying so hard to stay above the surface, to make all the days good days.
Just give me time.